Just a memory

I remember a time when I first began coaching. I was at Victoria High School. Our football team was "pretty" good, but what I remember is not that a win "put us in the playoffs" or that it brought us "a district championship," but rather I remember the moments just after the final seconds ticked off the clock of a game against our traditional rival. We had just won. There was excitement in the air. The band was playing the fight song! The cheerleaders were jumping up and down shouting "we won! we won!" The drill team members were shouting "We Won! We Won!" I remember looking into the stands and seeing the school principal and a counselor hugging (maybe more about that later) shouting, "We Won! We won!"
Then I remember looking at the team walking off the field. They were exhausted.
There were two "big 'ol linemen" walking off the field. They were LITERALLY dripping with sweat and blood. They were literally exhausted! Then slowly one of them raised his sweaty arm and placed it around the shoulders of his teammate; his brother in battle. With blood dripping from his elbow, and blood covering one eye he looked deep into his teammates eyes... Exhausted, he muttered "Doug, we won." Doug, too weak to even look back muttered "yeah John we did, didn't we." They walked silently arm in arm into the locker room, too tired to speak but each of them knew that only their brother in arms was aware of just what it took to gain this victory. The fans, cheerleaders, drill team, principal, and counselor enjoyed the fruits of a year's worth of these young men's labor.
I remember watching these young men walk, with arms around each other, totally exhausted, into the locker room. I remember thinking that a community of people celebrate a victory that a few young men (teenagers) literally bleed for. The very next week we lost a district game. The same people; cheerleaders, drill team, principal and counselor... were essentially damning "those boys that lost that game." It's funny how when the team wins "WE" win but when the team loses..... "THEY lose!"

NO STONE UNTURNED

To be honest I have had a devil of a time remembering how to submit a "blog." ... or maybe I just wanted "all" of my followers to think I had given up so that this could be just me talking to me.
Anyway, here we are the week of the state meet and I am reminded of so many years that I spent "transfixed" on all of the "what if's." As I watch Christie agonize through this week I can't help but think of the times that I spent where she is now. I continually tell her it's easy for me to look back on a career and say "I spent too much time worrying about the outcome... or "if I had it to do again, I would have approached these meets differently..." But I have come to realize that those words intended for comfort don't mean much. I suspect if I had a magic time machine, and went back to the mid-90's I would still feel much like she does now.
I will never forget the night before our first state championship. My wife, Pattie, had the patience of Job. I was so restless.... pacing the floor of our hotel room, literally all night. Her words will ever be etched in my mind... "Honey, try not to worry. They're going to do just fine." WHAT? She couldn't begin to know how they were going to do... How dare she pretend to understand my concerns... but, the fact was she did understand. My daily accountings to her of what Jason, Tim, Steve and crew had done throughout the year gave her an unbiased look at the future. Pattie couldn't (nor did she want to) predict the outcome. What she did know was that I loved those boys. I loved their work ethic, their up's and their down's. We had worked hard to get to this point, and she knew that they were likely as ready as they could be for this challenge. She also knew "that the outcome would not be the end-all;" that it would not define who I was as a human. She was so comforting that night. She was very delicate not to make light of my intense anxiousness, but was masterful at helping me realize that this was but one day in my life.... my career! I distinctly remember at one point around 2:30 AM getting up (not having been asleep) and standing in front of the hotel window, wondering if we had done all we could. Is there anything we could have done differently? Did the boys really believe they could overcome the Tradition, the Mystique of the mighty McCullough Highlanders. On most nights when I might have been restless, or even if I just snored too loudly, she might have been less than patient, but that night I'll never forget how kind she was. She knew I was in agony and would just say, "don't worry honey, they'll be fine." I didn't have to tell her what I was feeling, or what I was worried about. She knew and her words were a comfort that are impossible to describe. .... now don't get me wrong, they were not a sleep aid. I got little sleep that night! ... and it wasn't so bad. I remember a lot of great thoughts I had that night. I suppose the most profound moment was around 4:00 am when it dawned on me that God probably didn't care who won. I came to realize that what I believed was that God cared what we learned from this challenge that would help us better serve Him. Not long after that I dozed off (for about 45 mintes) then the wake up call. After that it was a blur! The next thing I know my friend (and McCullough Highlander head coach) Dan Green is congratulating us on a great state championship!
Now don't be misled. I'm selfish. I want my baby-girl to win this thing more than anything. She has endured some great hardships up to this point. She has left this meet thinking her team had won only to find out the following Monday that they hadn't... and then had to tell her team! I never had to do that, and don't know how I would have handled it. She has been so close. In pure human terms, and to quote my friend Larry Gnatzig "if anyone deserves this Christie does." She pours her heart into this. She loves these girls beyond their potential contribution to the team. It's time! I wish I could take away her burden of worry, but I can't. No..... I'm afraid that she has to go through this herself. I could tell her that I "think" her team is ready to win this thing (which I do), or I could tell her how much more positive this team is than the past two that I've observed. I could tell her that this team seems to be more focused on what they intend to accomplish than what they fear might happen, but it really boils down to the fact that she has invested more than all of the girls combined. Oh, they have invested much in this season. They have worked through adversity like a good coach hopes his/her athletes have to... I mean if we really are trying to prepare them for life! ... but, with all due respect to the girls on the team, their investment pails in comparison to what their coach has put into this season. So it stands to reason that she would be anxious. She should be anxious. No cliche' could make light of what the next three days mean to her. She thinks this is what she is about (As odd or distorted as that may sound) She, as she should, says that she really just wants the girls to run their best and be able to walk away from Old Settler's Park with no regrets. I believe that what she truly hopes for is to be able to get on the bus after the meet and look at them and know she had done her best by them AND that they could look in the mirror and know they had done all they could... that they had left no stone unturned!
Go Lady Mustangs THIS IS YOUR DAY!

Rare Challenges

There are moments in an athlete's career when they are asked to perform without the really feeling prepared. It could be the third string running back that rarely sees playing time. Although he outwardly shows signs of discontent and desire to move up into the spotlight, he's inwardly comfortable in his role with not too much pressure on his shoulders. Then one day before the big game coach announces to the team that their star running back is will not be able to play because of an injury and the "back-ups" need to be ready. They need to be ready to step it up for the team. How is our young third-stringer suppose to respond to that? In the words of the wise and famous Neuman of "Seinfeld," he is faced with "quite the conundrum." (Well, not really, but it seemed like a good place for some humor.) Anyway, really, how is he to react to this situation. I mean, he shouldn't be 'happy' that their all-state running back is strained a 'hammy,' but deep down he knows he's one step closer to being on the front lines in the heat of the battle. Deep down he is apprehensive. This week's opponent has two defensive linemen that are 6'5" 310 pound all-world players. He takes comfort, however, in the fact that the second stringer is healthy an ready to go.

Game day comes. Pre-game goes as usual. He's looking good in his pads and uniform. He spots his girlfriend prancing in with the drill team. Oh yeah, he's looking good alright. After pre-game warm up the team returns to the locker room and coach gives them the classic Knute Rockne speech. They return to the field fired up! Our young third (well now second) stringer is the first to break through the banner depicting "our" mascot hanging "their" mascot along with the words "KILL THE BULLDOGS" painted below the design (banner compliments of our sweet, innocent and peaceful cheerleaders).

With the final notes of our national anthem, emotions swell. The teams line up, the whistle blows and the 'Dawgs kick away. Our young running back is safely on the sideline yelling with all his might. Tonight's starting running back (we'll call him Speedy) fields the kick and heads up the left sideline. He breaks through the opposition like a hot knife through butter. All that's left between him and glory is the Bulldogs scrawny kicker. The entire stadium knows this is a mismatch. As the kicker approaches Speedy, he jukes, not just to elude his opponent, but lets face it, he hasn't had that many opportunities so show his stuff before the coaches, his girlfriend and 10,000 screaming spectators, so a little showmanship is in order. He jukes, spins and suddenly goes down writhing in pain. It seems that during his exhibition, he rolled an ankle. We would later discover that he tore a ligament and would be out the rest of the season, but presently we know he is out for this game. The coach calls for our young third stringer (I mean second stringer.... I mean starter). "John, you're in! This is your chance son. The team's counting on you. Don't let us down."

Gulp.

As coaches we discover alot of a young athlete's character when they are faced with such an unexpected challenge. Some will rise to the occasion. Others fold like a magician's top hat. Last night I had the rare opportunity to watch a group of young ladies take advantage of an unexpected challenge. The cross country meet we were scheduled was apparently going to be cancelled. On the way home the decision was made that since the weather forcast for today looked to be nasty, and we really needed to get a race in, it would be best to race on our own course as soon as we got back to school. Another local team felt this same need. Now don't be mistaken, I'm quite sure that many of our young harriers, were less than thrilled at this decision. I mean, they had gotten mentally prepared to race in a big meet. We drive an hour to get there. When we get there they're faced with the wonder if we are actually going to run in the present lightening, rain and hail. The decision is made to head back home. So their emotions subside, and, as it is nearing dinner time, they dig into the Subway sandwich they had brought for after the race. Just as they are settling down after a delicious meal, and we're pulling back into town, they are informed that we're going to race against Kingwood Park in 30 minutes. They had every reason to think "what the heck!" However, when the gun went off, I saw dozens of competitors. They didn't have time to get overly nervous, which might be food for thought in itself. They just knew the gun had gone off and they were in a race. Several ran faster than they ever had in conditions that really set them up for failure.

Yep. This is a great profession.

Kings and Dogs

When I first entered the profession, a more experienced coach with which I had become friends advised me that "if you treat them like dogs, they'll run like kings, and if you treat them like kings, they'll run like dogs." I remember feeling somewhat dismayed and disheartened, perhaps even a little betrayed upon hearing such unexpected advise come from someone whom I had grown to trust and respect. It had not been so long prior to that that I was an athlete myself, and had admired, respected and appreciated the guidance and even sometimes harsh correction my coaches had always shown me. When he uttered those words I remember wondering the question, "could it be that I was just that lucky or maybe blessed to have been given coaches, from middle school through college and beyond that were so positive and supportive?" Don't get me wrong, every coach I ever had possessed the ability to "reign down wrath" when the situation called for it. Every coach I ever had had the opportunity to give me a stern scolding. Okay, I'm trying to put it mildly... Every coach I ever had chewed my butt out from time to time, and why not! I needed it! I appreciated that they expected more from me than I thought had. If I was being lazy and not running the pace the coach had set, or if I was not concentrating or if I continually missed a hole the line had worked so hard to open up I didn't need to hear a kind "please do your best to get this right," or "I understand you're doing your best so we'll just move on." I needed to hear a passionate coach, in his own way tell me I was not living up to his expectations, and that's exactly what I wanted to hear. The very first coach I had made the statement to me once that if he ever stopped yelling at me (correcting me) it meant he had given up on me becoming what he believed I could be. I once had to clean chewing tobacco spit out of my ear after practice because in order to make sure I heard what he was saying (rather loudly) he was led to place his tobacco filled mouth about an inch from my ear. However five minutes later (while my ears were still ringing), he had his arm around me telling me how much he believed in me and how special he thought I was. I was in the 7th grade and he was telling me that he was convinced that, if I would commit myself, I could run in college someday. So throughout the years, every coach I had would from time to time "get on me" even perhaps raise his voice, but I NEVER remember feeling like I was being treated like a dog, but I also don't remember being treated like a king either..... hmmmmmm?
I'm reminded of something Benny Carter (former Humble ISD Athletic Director) said in a coaches meeting; "you can't do with rules what you don't do with relationships." Although I am compelled to elaborate on that thought, I sense that I have rambled enough for one day, and thus must save my thoughts for another time.

The pre and early season is always such a great time! It's filled with anticipations and excitement. New "stars" are starting to come into their own.
We had our first meet today and it felt like my first cross country meet in Victoria 32 years ago! I was so anxious for every race. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning unable to savor each gift because of the excitement of tearing into the next one. Most of my thrills come from watching young athletes who may not have been blessed with a great deal of raw talent, work day by day, off- season and in, and then to get to witness them make a breakthrough; that moment when the light come on and they reach a goal. I'm sure that many say to themselves "no one else thought I "could" do it, but I knew I "would." I've seen it happen thousands of times and it's still a rush.
There is, however, a danger lurking around the corner for every breakthrough. That danger is complacency. My college Track Coach, Augie Erfurth, called it "arriving." He would constantly remind us as we reached goals, that as soon as we thought we had "arrived" (found greatness) we couldn't be further away from progress. Progress comes through not just a desire to succeed, but a HUNGER to succeed. It lies within that which we know we MUST have. I have heard countless coaches say to their athletes "you gotta want it!" Assuming "it" is winning, I find that rather odd. Seems to me that if asked if they would rather win or lose most athletes (or breathing humans for that matter) would answer with a quick "duh win." That being the case what makes one finish first and another finish second. The pure talent difference in the one who finishes first and the one who finishes second is typically not that great. Now let me stop and qualify that. Jamaica's Usain Bolt just defeated the best the rest of the world had to offer in 100 and 200 meters at the world championships. He won the 200 by -+ 10 meters! He may be one of the anomalies that are indeed in a league of their own. But for the most part "pure talent" is often similar within the close races. So what separates first and second or 28th and 29th? ... and what causes upsets? Those moments where the one who should have been second (or third) wins the race? I believe that for the most part it is a result of an athlete with hunger; an athlete that knows that they MUST succeed. It is so much more than wanting to reach a goal. Everyone wants to. I want to grow hair, but I'm not willing to go to Hair Club for Men, so I must not really want curly locks all that badly. To breakthrough, the individual must take themselves to a new and unfamiliar, place. Oftentimes one that ONLY THEY believe they belong and one in which they can succeed.
I am one of the luckiest guys in the world. I have had the opportunity to witness countless numbers of young student athletes dare to go to that place. Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail. But even in failure they learn something that will help them offer a better effort next time. I suppose it's little like when I play golf. I have heard, and come to agree with the statement that 100% of the putts that I hit "short" will not go in the cup. If the young athlete never goes out on a limb or never dreams bigger than anyone else thinks possible they will NEVER reach what they wish they could have. If they are hungry enough to believe it possible (regardless of what the synics say), who knows...
I'm hungry. Think I'll make me a sandwich. More later.

Where to begin?

I have found myself feeling that this should somehow call for a deep reflection over the past 30+ years and finding those "defining moments" that shaped my career. Then I sit back and realize that that is all too dramatic. Actually, in reflection, there are moments etched in my memory that "stick out" but the definition of a career is not in "moments" but in the journey itself. Throughout my career, I found myself encouraging teams that sport was not about the last or final contest but about the journey in getting to that point. That is where life is taught. "Moments" will be remembered, yes. The state championship, the district loss that means you won't be competing at regionals, etc. will be remembered but these events in themselves did not shape who I became, nor did these moments shape who the student athletes became. I believe what shaped them (as well as myself) was the daily commitments and sacrifices which were made, and relationships that were developed. I have received countless letters, emails and calls from former athletes. All these communications have a few things in common. NONE of them EVER refer to the district, regional or state championships won. Nor do they refer to any tragic, and life changing loss. What they ALL seem to note is what they learned that they still carry with them today. They remember things which they learned that even today help them as they face life's challenges. They learned to work hard for a common goal. They learned that, even though their team mate might not be their 'best friend,' he was their TEAM MATE, and therefore deserving of their respect and concern. Many refer to the required 'handshake' or "check out" as we called it, and how that in itself made them feel significant. I say that their presence and effort were significant. What they taught me and their teammates through this presence and effort was very significant.
Okay, so I got somewhat dramatic. Right now I only need apologize to Ashley as she is probably the only one that will read this. I guess we'll see what tomorrow holds.

Old Dog / New Tricks

Actually, this is a (possibly feeble) attempt at encouraging progress on the book I intend to finish (someday). I have gathered some very valuable and much appreciated information from several coaches, who were willing to share their thoughts on various survey topics. However, having never viewed myself as much of a "writer," I have stumbled into the writer's dead zone and find myself asking "what do I do now?" Some have suggested that writing down random thoughts is somehow a method of inspiration... None the less, I may sound like a babbling idiot at times (or even often), but please, take it for what it is; just my random thoughts and reflections on a career that has spanned the past 33 years, and one which I consider to be valuable and honorable. Whether or not these thoughts actually find the organization and motivation to land within the binds of book covers prior to my demise is yet to be seen. Nonetheless, I would value and appreciate any feed back.