Kings and Dogs

When I first entered the profession, a more experienced coach with which I had become friends advised me that "if you treat them like dogs, they'll run like kings, and if you treat them like kings, they'll run like dogs." I remember feeling somewhat dismayed and disheartened, perhaps even a little betrayed upon hearing such unexpected advise come from someone whom I had grown to trust and respect. It had not been so long prior to that that I was an athlete myself, and had admired, respected and appreciated the guidance and even sometimes harsh correction my coaches had always shown me. When he uttered those words I remember wondering the question, "could it be that I was just that lucky or maybe blessed to have been given coaches, from middle school through college and beyond that were so positive and supportive?" Don't get me wrong, every coach I ever had possessed the ability to "reign down wrath" when the situation called for it. Every coach I ever had had the opportunity to give me a stern scolding. Okay, I'm trying to put it mildly... Every coach I ever had chewed my butt out from time to time, and why not! I needed it! I appreciated that they expected more from me than I thought had. If I was being lazy and not running the pace the coach had set, or if I was not concentrating or if I continually missed a hole the line had worked so hard to open up I didn't need to hear a kind "please do your best to get this right," or "I understand you're doing your best so we'll just move on." I needed to hear a passionate coach, in his own way tell me I was not living up to his expectations, and that's exactly what I wanted to hear. The very first coach I had made the statement to me once that if he ever stopped yelling at me (correcting me) it meant he had given up on me becoming what he believed I could be. I once had to clean chewing tobacco spit out of my ear after practice because in order to make sure I heard what he was saying (rather loudly) he was led to place his tobacco filled mouth about an inch from my ear. However five minutes later (while my ears were still ringing), he had his arm around me telling me how much he believed in me and how special he thought I was. I was in the 7th grade and he was telling me that he was convinced that, if I would commit myself, I could run in college someday. So throughout the years, every coach I had would from time to time "get on me" even perhaps raise his voice, but I NEVER remember feeling like I was being treated like a dog, but I also don't remember being treated like a king either..... hmmmmmm?
I'm reminded of something Benny Carter (former Humble ISD Athletic Director) said in a coaches meeting; "you can't do with rules what you don't do with relationships." Although I am compelled to elaborate on that thought, I sense that I have rambled enough for one day, and thus must save my thoughts for another time.